Descriptive Writing

This week we have started working on writing a narrative. The goal was to use descriptive language to describe what was happening in the short video that they were shown. 

Here is Shruthi's piece of writing that she has planned and written, using some impressive descriptive language. 

Feel free to leave a comment for Shruthi, she would love some feedback! Well done Shruthi, you have certainly met the learning intention!

Words Worth Believing

The sun cascaded it’s heatwave over the windy road leading upwards. Oswald was sweating so bad, the sweat on his forehead dripped from his nose and some even got into his eyes making hot tears form. As he was nearing another bend he saw blood red fabric blowing in the humid wind, he was glad to see someone, maybe he could ask for some money, but his hopes dropped when he saw how strange the figure truly was, he looked like alive stick of licorice,drawn perfectly with a pencil and ruler, he had these peculiar sort of goggles that sat at the very beginning of his nose and it seemed as if the goggles were embed into his clay skin,high cheekbones and quite symmetrical,and of course there was that offbeat red scarf that sat on his neck and held onto the bridge of his nose like a snake around a master,  he almost looked as if he was malnutritioned. Nonetheless Oswald needed money and if this stick person was going to give it to him, so be it. He walked up to the man and stared into his goggles, although Oswald could not see his eyes, he could feel them on him, dark and cold. 

Zalik looked at this unusual child,how idiotic could it be to come up to someone who looks like himself. He just ignored and continued to hold out his thumb. ”Hello, Mister, can you see me,you are rather tall,but not as tall as  a giant I once read about. I could not help but realise how lonely you were, so I decided to keep you some company, while we wait, may I ask you some questions?”. Zalik was already annoyed with this imbecile, but still acted as if it weren’t there. “Well first of you are rude, and second of I’ll stop talking and walk away if you give me some pennies, you see my teddy bear is really hungry and…”, Oswald started to let his fake tears take over and play the trick he knew always worked, unfortunately. Zalike was not buying it, he was not amused nor was he entertained, he was in fact so agitated that he ripped off his scarf, in hope the boy would run away. “OH MY GREAT GODDESS, PICKLES ME TUESDAY, How horrific to see that in the mirror everyday!”. Zalik was taken aback, if only they had not sliced his mouth off and pulled his teeth out he would have torn this child to shreds and devoured him right there.