10 Lies about Kaia

10 lies about me!

1.          People wonder why I have awkward thumbs. This is the answer. When I was born I worked in the dwarf mines mining the cure for small fingers. All dwarfs had the same finger and I’m a dwarf!

2.          People ask why do your eyes change from greeny blue to grey. My answer: I’m from another universe where everything is grey black and white and I’m plotting to destroy all existence.

3.          People ask why do you have bumpy skin. It’s because I am actually a super hero called Bubble Man and when I’m in human form not all the bubbles deflate.

4.          Why am I so ugly? Because Muhammad Ali mistook me for a punching bag and he clocked me right in the jaw!

5.          Why is my name Kaia? Because it stands for Kool Awesome Incredible Alien

6.          Why am I so fat? I'm so fat because I went to the super market and made myself an all in one cake

7.          People ask why I have a long tongue. It’s because I was being naughty and I went to the torture room and I put my tongue in the stretcher.

8.          Why are my lips so fat? My lips are fat because I got an air pump put it in my lips and blew them up.

9.          Why do I have odd feet? Because I kicked a block of titanium and my feet crumpled up

10. Why do I have a double chin? It’s because I am secretly Eric Cartman from Southpark.